When writing a story, whether it’s fiction or non, too much information confuses your reader.
The phrase write tight should be tacked up to the bulletin board in the back of every writer’s mind. Long sentences will make your readers work too hard, but an economy of words makes their ‘read’ a joy. Remember if they lose their train of thought, they’ll have to reread the sentence and that will break up the flow of your story. But if you give them just enough information to keep the story moving forward their interest will be maintained and your story (if a good one) will keep them turning pages.
You’ll have to judge just how much ‘back story’ or side information to give them, but use no more than one or two ideas in a sentence. Your readers will love you for it.
In the examples below, you’ll see just how the additions of each idea complicates the sentence, making your reader work harder to understand your work.
The pilot landed the crippled plane on the wrong runway.
The pilot landed the crippled plane on the wrong runway, then slowly taxied to a stop.
The pilot landed the crippled plane on the wrong runway, then slowly taxied to a stop, as the passengers breathed a collective sigh of relief.
The pilot landed the crippled plane on the wrong runway, then slowly taxied to a stop, as the passengers breathed a collective sigh of relief, and gathered up their belongings to exit the aircraft.
The first two sentences are fine, giving enough information to keep the flow of the story moving along. But the third begins to be over-kill and the fourth sentence drives a stake into the heart of your story. Keep sentences short and sweet - unless you’re writing a technical manual (then, of course, your reader MUST finish it) - and you’ll find that if your story idea is a good one, short, concise sentences will take your reader from the first page all the way through to the last. And they’ll love you for it.
Categories: Writing · editing · the writing process · writing in general · writing tips
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words, however, should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Don’t overuse exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words’ that show possession.
27. Don’t use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations.. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Besides, hyperbole is always overdone, anyway.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Categories: funny stuff · grammar
32. Who needs rhetorical questions? However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Avoid “buzz-words”; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters
35. People don’t spell “a lot” correctly alot of the time.
36. Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly
37. All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)….Morgan’s Law.
38. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
39. The dash – a sometimes useful punctuation mark – can often be overused – even though it’s a helpful tool some of the time.
40. Proofread carefully to make sure you don’t repeat repeat any words.
41. In writing, it’s important to remember that dangling sentences.
41. When numbering in a written document, check your numbering system carefully.
Categories: funny stuff · grammar
But first a word of advice..
DO NOT under penalty of death use any of the following analogies in your writing. If you do, you will be shot on sight.
- They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
- She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
- Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Wait…there’s more
- He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
- The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
- Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
- The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
- The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
Categories: Writing · creative writing · editing · funny stuff · the writing process
